Morbid jokes

That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.

"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."

Ur mum gay, lul.

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

Bored.

Guess what? Chicken butt.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Anal.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,

"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"

When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.

Poo.

My life, your life, and your sister is a slut.

Wanna know something funny?

- Women's rights.

I like the iceberg... my favorite character was the iceberg!

Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?

Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.

Say, "Crack my fingers."

Now say that backwards...

Dfhbbfd.

When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.

Hola.

What's an old man's favorite food?

Wrinkled onions.

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.