Morbid jokes
Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.
And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
Tate
Monky.
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
Fuck you, biiiiiitch!
Pinto?
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.
Duck my sick.
Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
O Dario tem namorada?
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!! 😂🤣