Morbid jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill. They turned to drunks and have no will. Jill said to Jack, "Your love reveal, then think of building me a still."
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.
Duck my sick.
Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
O Dario tem namorada?
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!! 😂🤣
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
God.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
Follow me on Twitch @EddyTheSurfer.
When a plane is having turbulence, it’s just the pilot shaking the steering.
Ur dad is mad.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!