Morbid jokes
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
Jack and Jill went up the hill. They turned to drunks and have no will. Jill said to Jack, "Your love reveal, then think of building me a still."
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
God.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
Follow me on Twitch @EddyTheSurfer.
When a plane is having turbulence, it’s just the pilot shaking the steering.
Ur dad is mad.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!
Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?
Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.
Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
Despacito.
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.
Bullets.
My wiener's small.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.