Morbid jokes
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
joko
So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."
I'm Gay.
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
Me, myself, and I.
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
PhashaunAnimationz
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
Tate
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
How do you fit three flags on a bar stool?
Flip it over!
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!