Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Friend

My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

Meat

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

Heart

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

Guy

Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.

  • 2
  • Grandpa

    What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?

    "Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"

    Enemy

    If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.

    Baby

    What's worse than a baby in a trash can?

    A baby in 10 trash cans.

  • 5
  • Christmas

    Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.

    9/11

    Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?

    Pineapple

    Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."

    The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.

    The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.

    The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.

  • 6
  • America

    Nobody:

    The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:

    tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!

  • 1
  • Wheelchair

    So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.

    Mob

    I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...