Morbid jokes
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Kian. Legit, Kian is a joke.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
"I created the Human Torch."
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.