Morbid jokes
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
Why did the chicken cross the road? It doesn't matter, he's dead.
Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.
And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
BLM.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the “utter” side.
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
Dark jokes are just like water.
Not everybody gets it.