Morbid jokes

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.

One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"

The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."

A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"

The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."

Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."

Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.

Dad: How was your trip to the park?

Daughter: It was good until the man came along.

Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?

Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...

Dad: Oh God, what next?

Daughter: Nothing, that was it.

Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

I was going to tell a dead baby joke...

I decided to abort.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

How are guys and tile floors alike?

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!