Morbid jokes
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke...
I decided to abort.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?
A baby seal walked into a club.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
A man asks to play kick the bucket (not death).
The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt. Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other one's foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff, which brings the man with it. LOL
THE END