Morbid jokes
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke...
I decided to abort.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?
A baby seal walked into a club.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
A man asks to play kick the bucket (not death).
The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt. Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other one's foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff, which brings the man with it. LOL
THE END
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.