Morbid jokes

Morbid Jokes

There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"

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When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.

The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

What's black and white and read all over?

A newspaper.

What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?

A penguin falling down the stairs.