Morbid jokes

What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?

One of the missions succeeded.

The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."

What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

...A girl scout that got hit by a car.

What did the mute man tell the blind man?

Nothing.

When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."

So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."

What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

Finding out it was traced.

I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.

They never got together at all.

I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?

A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.

I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.

A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.

Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."

Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."

How does Hellen Keller drive?

With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

You know why orphans like boomerangs?

Because they come back, unlike their parents.