If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
What's better then sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother
My friend just got a new house, he told me to make myself at home, so i threw him out. I hate visiters.
I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...
A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, "Teacher, I don't know what it is.". the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it's what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it's an asshole!!!"
An Irish-man walks out of a bar
what do you call a terrorist attack in india .
a wednestday
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?...
Herpes stays around
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide
i nailed my sister's............ picture on the wall
you dirty minded bastard.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
“Mum I just won this phone in a race!” “Who was in the race?” “The owner of the phone And the police I think they’re at the door to congratulate me!”
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap it's neck.
Q:What do burger King and michael Jackson have in common
A:they put meat on five year old buns
What is worse to have - a dead baby or dead Santa Claus? Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
