Morbid jokes
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.