Morbid jokes
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
The world's funniest joke? Your life.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
Cuddle with you.🙂
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
"Jasmine is gay, now THAT is a joke."
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
If you need to squint to read this...
You probably need glasses.
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.