Morbid jokes
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just a joke!
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
No, you!
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
Tilted Towers is gone.
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.