Morbid jokes
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Fuck you, biiiiiitch!
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
modern feminism.
Hillary Clinton
Kids?
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just a joke!
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.