Mood

Mood jokes

I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

My two moods are โ€œI canโ€™t believe I get to be a personโ€ and โ€œI canโ€™t believe I have to be a person.โ€

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

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  • A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

    The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

    A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

    The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

    The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

    The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."

    I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldnโ€™t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasnโ€™t laughing at the jokes.

    Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

    He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.