Monkey jokes
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
When you tell your friend heโs a simp and isnโt offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
Memes
That one
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasnโt peeling good.
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
What is a monkey's favorite game? A Hangman!
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Whatโs 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!