Monkey jokes
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.