Jungle jokes

Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!

What did the tiger say to the bunny?

Nice to meat you!

A lion would never drive while drunk.

But a tiger wood.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

There lived a jackal in a forest. He did not get the day's food, so he was very hungry and wandered throughout the forest, but could not find any food. Finally, he decided to go to the city. As he was walking into the city, he heard some dogs bark. Soon, he found a group of dogs running towards him, so he rushed into a nearby house which belonged to a dyer and fell into a tub filled with blue dye. The dogs that were chasing him returned back as they could not find him. The jackal came out blue from the tub and went into the forest. Every animal in the forest was frightened to see a new animal. The jackal realized that all animals were afraid of him and took advantage of the situation. He called the animals towards him. The jackal said, "Oh my dear friends, I have been sent by gods in heaven to protect you all. I will be the king of this jungle." All the animals became very happy. Everyday they served him food and took care of all his needs. They came to him with all their problems and listened to what their king said. One day as the king jackal was sitting by the court, he heard a pack of jackals howling in the forest. For a long time, he had not heard these voices. He felt very happy, forgetting he was the king, he howled back immediately. All the animals knew who he really was and started chasing him in anger, but the jackal was already on the run.

How to become a monkey?

Put a red dot on your forehead.

So you know "The Lion King."

Do you remember Simba?

Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.

So I told him to Mufasa.

What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?

Do you think he saw us?

What do cheetahs wear to work?

They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!

Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

A: To hide up cherry trees.

Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A: Giraffes eating cherries.

What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?

Panda-monium!

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.

Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?

It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.

America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...

Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.

The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"

"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."

What do you call field day in Africa?

The Hunger Games.

What's white, black, and red all over?

A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.