Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
