Monkey jokes
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
no fucking goddamn way
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.
A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.