Monkey jokes
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
no fucking goddamn way
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.