Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey
monky
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account prime mates
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly I took one shot puffed through my pipe and jumped in the air on a trampoline I woke up in heaven. I asked an angel how did I die you? "Well little monkey you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head your mom called the doctor and doctor said you were dead.
Monkey Man's mortuary you stab 'em we slab 'em
Whats the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved. (Written by Paragon Dart Monkey)
my friend josh made a joke about liams hairline even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey......if they were white
Roses are red violets are blue when i saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too
There are three men walking down the road and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm there is a cow a monkey and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money and the farm is going out of business. One of the men's sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest but it's so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them in suggested that they put a cork up the cows behind. The first guy says okay then go put a cork there. I don't want to do it you do it no you do it. The third guy says let's just get the monkey to do it. And the monkey puts the cork in the couch behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm. The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of cow. Guys we need to take the cork out of the cow he says. Well I'm not going to do it you do it, no you do it. The third guy says let's just get the monkey to do it again. So the monkey uncorks a cow. And there was a huge explosion.... a few days later the three men wake up in the hospital. The doctor walks up to the first man what happened he asks the first man replies all I remember is that a horrible sound. The doctor walks up to the second man and asks what happened. All I remember is that horrible smell.... The doctor walks up to the third man and again ask the same question. The third man looks at him and says all I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys penises
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
How do you get a monkey off the wall??
You Jerk Him Off!!!
why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
to see his closest relatives
If your reading this you are a Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo. They never got together at all.
(My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song)
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look likes a monkey, and you smell like one too!
(No affence to anyone reading this on there birthday)
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it? A puppy you dirty monkey 🐒
what is yellow and smells like bananas?
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by god and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made. Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started she said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked my dad he said it all started with Adam and Eve so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
