I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕
What is a monkey's favorite game? A Hangman!
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
