Money jokes

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Yo mama so poor, she can't even pay attention.

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.

What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls. They're under a buck.

I used to be a banker...

But then I lost interest.

What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?

A millionheir.

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

You can keep the tip.