Mom jokes

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!

Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.

Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.

Q: What do you call a tsunami?

A: Your mom's water breaking.

Mom, why was I adopted?

Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

My mom

Your mom dot com.

Why was your mom so into me?

'Cause she was the man.

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Your mom is emo, Deacon.