Mom jokes

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!

If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

The thing my mom birthed.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!

Kid with mother: Your mom!

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭