Mom jokes

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Your mom uses the equator as a belt.

Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”

Son: “To the playground?”

Mom: “No, to the morgue.”

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

Your mom is emo, Deacon.

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.