Mom

Mom jokes

Bro

When you see your mom.

Me: bruh

Her: Are you serious right now bro?

Me: Yeah no shit.

Her: *slaps me*

Pasta

My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!

Dinner

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

Memes

Road

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

Sister

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Funeral

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Cow

Why did the baby cow cross the road?

To find its mom who has the milk.

Mother

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

Naruto

What do you call multiple quintuplets that look the same?

Naruto's mom.

Blood

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

Bump

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)