Mom jokes

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Repeat after me...

Me: "You have a weird style."

Mom: "You have a weird style."

Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

What do you call multiple quintuplets that look the same?

Naruto's mom.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."

Me: I have a dream.

Mom: What?

Me: For you to fucking shut up.

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."

Orphan: Starts crying.