Mom jokes
My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭
Hey, is anyone’s mom missing? Yeah, yours.
GF be like...
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Your mom is emo, Deacon.
Knock, knock.
Your mom.
Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."
Orphan: Starts crying.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Where's your mom at?