My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.
Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. ðŸ˜
Hey, is anyone’s mom missing? Yeah, yours.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
