Mom jokes

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your mom.

Mom, why was I adopted?

Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!

The thing my mom birthed.

In America, mom births you.

In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]