Laser jokes

A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.

What do robots 🤖 shave with?

Laser blades!

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

What is the difference between a laser beam and a trash can?

A trash can doesn't rage.

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!