So my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store so when I get there,there’s a sign but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead
I call this my great talk with Siri
Me : hey Siri give me and Ur Mom joke
Siri: My mother ? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question
Me : it wasn’t a question
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: you should understand
Siri: hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: no you b***
Your mom is so old she walked into an antique store and they kept her
Your mom is so dumb she called me asking for my phone #
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide so we made it double
Your Mom is so fat she can be trumps border wall
Me: "Cya" Mom: "Where Ya Going?" Me: "The Orphanage To Make Yo Mama Jokes" Mum: ...
ur mom loves to eat logs lmao
So a mom and a dad are having sex, their daughter comes down and says, "mommy mommy, what are you doing?" The mom goes, "Uh, were making a cake, let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow." So the next day they go to the park and two teens are going at it in some bushes and the little girl goes,"mommy mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes "they're making a cake, let's go back home." So they go home and the mom tucked her Indo bed and says "tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo and two monkeys are going at it and the girl goes "my mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes "they're making a cake let's go back home." And so they go home and the girl goes "mommy, did you and daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says "n-no why?" And the little girl goes "because I licked the icing off the couch."
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top a gas station, she will lower the prices.
It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died
Wife:😭😭😭I wish this never happened
Mia our first daughter: momy it’s ok I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I won’t but I love you when ur alive 😉😏
Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when we’re alive but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommy’s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad😡🤬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry 😣 when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back.says mom:
This was not a joke I just did this for Love 💕
The mom and left the child because they were famous and rich like rich monkeys
Your hairline and your mom go way back.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room
The present: Laundry
*gunshot*
orphan: can i go outside coworker at orphanage: go ask your mom orphan: WAWAWAWAWwAW
My mom told me to help her with the laser but it was opposite day so I pushed her down. She said help so I kick her
ur mom is spy <3 just like in bed
what do youuuuuuuuuuu OH F*** Y MOM IS GANNA KILL ME MY SHIT IS STUCK ON THE TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF***************************************************************
my mom told me to go to bed but then I grabbed a drink went in their room to say goodnight and they looked like adam and eve on steroids
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean hey my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Some times I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
