My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
What do you call a duck with no head
Your mom gay
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
i remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
your mom is a mom!!
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
i fucked my mom
if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"
