Mom

Mom jokes

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Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.

Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?

Mom: No, that's impossible.

Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?

Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.

Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^

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    • One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.

    Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

    The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

    The end.

    My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.

    My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.

    So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

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    • On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

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    • Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.

    Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....

    Mom: It's a pillow fort.

    Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?

    Mom: You're almost 19 years old.

    Me: Not good enough... OUT!

    Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

    Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

    Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

    Dad: Yep.