Mom jokes
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
What do you say to someone's mom?
"You mom gay."
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
Doin' ya mom oh yeah oh yeah, doin' doin' ya mom!
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
Your mom gay.
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
My mom asked me to stop making jokes about suicide.
I answered, "Don't worry... I'll stop soon."
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.
“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.
“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.
So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”
“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.