Mom jokes

Daughter: Dad, why are you so mean?

Dad: Because you are so mean, that's why.

Daughter: You so get on my nerves.

Dad: I am gonna slap you in your god darn head if you don't shut up.

Daughter: Wow, Dad, you savage.

Dad: 21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daughter: Oh my God, I am tellin' Mom that you are doin' that thing again.

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.

One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."

I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.

Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?

Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"

Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."

What did the mom say to her house? "I love you"

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

Your mom gay.

Your mom is a transgender, your dad took a wrong turn just like his gender, your brother is just gay.

How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

Me: Mom, I'm tired.

Mom: "Then go to sleep."

Me: No, you don't understand-

Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.

Son: No way, you can’t see him though.

Mom: God!

Son: What?

Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).

Son: Also because I’m John Cena.

Mom: Where, where’d ya go?

John Cena: Hey, Mom.

Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.

My mom got a clown for my birthday, but it ended up being my sister. 🤡

Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!

Me: But Billy's with her right now.

Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM

Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.