Misunderstanding

Misunderstanding jokes

Day

    • One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

    I don't need this shit!!

    Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

    I don't need this shit!

    So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."

    I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'

    I don't need this shit!

    Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.

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    Flow

    • A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."

    And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"

    And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

    And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

    And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

  • 2

    • Head

    • This is two heads.

    Deaf. "Deep water." ""

    - "78 years."

    Are you interested again? ""

    "If you go ... you are there."

    "No. 85 is good."

    What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

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    Misunderstanding memes
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    Sign

    • I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

    Date

    • So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

    Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

    Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

    Dog

    • My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

    The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

    Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

  • 1
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    Sally

    • When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."

    Mom: "No?"

    "Like in heaven?" said the mother.

    "No, juice," Sally said.

  • 0

    • Toronto

    • A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.

  • 0

    • Algorithm

    • My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

    ...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

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    Layla

    • A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

    The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

    The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

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