Misunderstanding Jokes

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

When did “yo” mean Hello?

They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

The image shows Walter White looking serious and a bit concerned. Above him, the text reads: "me after realizing i've accidentally used friend group 3 humor with friend group 1".

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol

The deaf man said to the waiter:

"Mmmm."

The waiter said, "No English."

Then the deaf man signed, "F U."

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex, sex, sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"

I replied, "As soon as possible!"

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"

Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"

Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."

A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"

The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"

Spell "attic."

Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.

I went to the market to get eggs, and my sister thought that I meant my balls.

The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."

The doctor says, "Next, please."

There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!