Mine jokes
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
Memes
Mine is better than all of yours
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake).
Sike, I lied, your Minecraft account is mine!
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Do you know what's lonely?
Your lips, wanna meet mine?
Mine never stops.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
What's your favorite type of flour?
Don't know.
Mines self-raising.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.