Mine Jokes

I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.

The wheels on the bus go round and round!

Is ur mom a virgin? Mine is How am I alive? U tell me

Man walks in to the doctor He says” doctor I need a new butt mine has a crack in it” Doctor-how many time do I have to tell you!!!

The other day me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts I was wearing a black top she was wearing a stripy top we were arguing abt who was more creative when she asked to prove that I am I just said "u buy ur stripes, I make mine"

What state do miners hate? Ore Gon

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here!

I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist Colony the other day.

When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep.

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores." Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER."

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama but mines a tragedy.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady she asked which kid is mine and I responded I haven't decided yet

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dived to save it, he said he always dives for pens.

A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.

So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?" He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,"Raw!"