I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist Colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep.
Everyone has cracks in them, mines just in my heart and not my ass.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores." Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER."
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama but mines a tragedy.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dived to save it, he said he always dives for pens.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady she asked which kid is mine and I responded I haven't decided yet
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours? Girl: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby be mine.
A guy and girl had sex poem competition. Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine." Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
Every body loves guns! Everytime I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
Some people said that JFK had Big parties some even would say they were *Mine Blowing*
Are u mixed? Cuz ur half fine half mine😏
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to go check my garage, it’s all good bc I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today. And treat others how you want to be treated! Rate your day scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
heres a list of puns not all of them are mine
1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
