Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson jokes

Child

Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.

Difference

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.

Kmart

What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?

They're both dead...

Song

What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?

Beat It.

Police

Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.

The police: You finally figured it out.

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  • Bedtime

    What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

    When the big hand touches the little hand.

    Glove

    Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?

    So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.

    Chris Hansen

    Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.

    Genie

    "So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

    Chess

    Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?

    He can't choose between black or white.

    Donald Trump

    Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

    Walmart

    Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!

    Kid

    There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

    What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

    Baby

    Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?

    He was airing his blanket.

    Kid

    Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

    Honor

    In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.