Mental Health jokes
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.