Mental Health jokes

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

Why can't depressed people leave the maze?

Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.

You guys are literally mentally ill. You should get some help. This is so disgusting, ew!

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

Government Briefing:

Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today…

…He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.

I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.

... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

Person B: Over my dead body.

Person B: *gets the noose*

Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

A depresso espresso.

JK.

It's cyanide.

What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?

Suicide squad.