Mental Health jokes
I have cripple and depression.
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
You guys are literally mentally ill. You should get some help. This is so disgusting, ew!
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
Don’t cut yourself up about it.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
Q: I wish my grass was emo.
A: Then it would cut itself.
This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...