Mental Health jokes

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.

Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.

On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

Like if depressed.

I sexually identify as kilometers per second.

Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?

(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)

If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

How many emos does it take to fix a light?

I don't know because they never came down.

What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?

Prince Andrew's victims.

Q: What do you call an emo business? A: A cutting board.

My depression is depressed.

Why is emo grass better than normal grass?

Emo grass is gonna cut themself.