Mental Health jokes

Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.

If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.

How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.

A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.

Which one hits the ground first?

The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.

What do you call a flat emo kid?

A cutting board.

What do you call a group of Emos?

Suicide squad.

How do you start a dance party?

Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?

You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.

Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.

Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.

Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.

Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.

What does the depressed person say to the happy person?

"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."