Men jokes
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Why can't gay men be handymen?
Because they'll be caulk fighting on the job.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Jeremy likes to kiss men. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
It's raining men! Hallelujah!
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
How do you stop a gang of black men from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!
Why do Indian men marry fat women?