Men jokes
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
Why is the gay kid gay?
Because he likes men.
Why can't men play baseball?
Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.
Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Leo be like: "I like men, yes."
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.
Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.
In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.
Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"