So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer? OJ couldn’t kill cancer
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
PORNHUB
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
