Media jokes

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?

Telephone? No.

Television? No.

How then? Tell a woman!

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.

Me: I'm retarded.

Teacher: Why?

Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."

Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?

Muzan Kibutsuji

Hehe

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?

"Here's the beef of the week!"

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?

RoboCop.

I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."

I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.

As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!

What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper.

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.