What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?
Muzan Kibutsuji
Hehe
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What's black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
