Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
When do astronauts eat lunch?
At launch time.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
