Meal jokes
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).
Fucking America my ass, INDIA FOR LIFE!!!! 💩🦶🍲🪔
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date? Because he didn't want to see the bill.
Beef beef beef? TRIPLE ANGUS POUNDER BURGER XDDDDDDDD
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Dad: Don't know, why?
Son: Because they taste funny.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.