Meal jokes
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?
Two large planes.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Dad: Don't know, why?
Son: Because they taste funny.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.