Mom: hey son, what does idk and idc mean?
Son: i don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: excuse me?
Son: oh, and by the way mum, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
what do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair? MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
I Live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food so I called my dog over
One morning peppy and George came downstairs for Breckfast but they got a plate of juicy bacon there dad had recently gone missing so they ate it quite sadly the next morning they went to school and asked their teacher what is bacon made out of the teacher replied “pigs why?”peppa and George looked horrified
what the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza nothing i eat both of them
Parents are like food not all kids get them
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.🦆🍲😋😂
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals
What do orphans get at a restaurants?
The family meal
y do people eat cereal for breakfast?
because why not.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "when i cook i make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping and I was starving so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times but nothing new was in their
a sandwich is a sandwich,but a manwich in a meal - jeffery dahmer
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a happy meal 🤔
Family all eating at the table Brother: hmm I think I feel gold Sister: stop the cap Brother look under the table and says “ nope just a gold digger” Dad laughed Step mom storms out of the room
what would you like as your last meal? Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, Here comes the airplane.
