ME jokes

Just a pickup line.

"Ayo, bbg, are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in."

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.

Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.

Teacher: Why?

Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.

What’s up with the foot feet?

What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."

What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.

Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.

Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.

I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...

Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?

Hello, I am Alan Shawn Feinstein. I would like to know who the owner of this website "worstjokesever.com" is.

I am interested in buying this website. Please respond to me in the comments or email me. Thank you, and keep doing good things.

Dear Kenya, love of life,

Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

Love you a million times more!

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?

Are you kidding me?!?

Me: *in a family meeting*

Mom: Ok guys...

Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA

I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.

Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!

My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.

Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...

I love you, you love me.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.