ME jokes

There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

What did A say to Y?

"You cannot be alpha like me." :)

Y said, "Why? (Y)"

Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!

Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?

Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Hi... I'm depressed.

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?

Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.

We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?

“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”

Me: "I like kids."

What is it called when an orphan is having a family reunion?

Me time.

Hello, I am Alan Shawn Feinstein. I would like to know who the owner of this website "worstjokesever.com" is.

I am interested in buying this website. Please respond to me in the comments or email me. Thank you, and keep doing good things.

We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.

Frenid: R u gay?

Me: Yes u

Frenid: No I am bi.

Me: Dang it!

Frenid: What?

Me: I like u.

Frenid: Ok I like u to.