ME jokes
No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:me😐
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Memes
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a Happy Meal.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
Me: I know a good 9/11 joke, but it would probably go over your head.
The Twin Towers: No, it won’t.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"