ME jokes
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
People: You're ugly.
Me: Ok.
People: I hate you.
Me: Cool, IDC.
People: You're annoying.
Me: Good for me.
People: BTS is dumb.
Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!