Mathematics jokes
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
What is 8 divided by 2?
Answer: 3 (you cut 8 in half).
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
1+1? Too hard.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 ate 9!
9: I am higher than you.
8: No, you're not!
(8 flips to his side)
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
Number.
2 7 73 53.
I'll give you time, figure it out.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.