Math jokes
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!