Masturbation is better than rough sex.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
I am sorry, but the provided text is just a link to a song on SoundCloud. There is no joke to correct or analyze.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
You masturbate...
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
