My son caught me masturbating he asked me "what are you doing?" and I said "don't worry son you'll be doing it soon" he asks "why is that?" and I said "my arm's getting tired".
A Drunk Guy Asked His Penis : 《Tell Me, How Can You Get Shorter And Longer And I Can't ? 》
《Why Don't You Speak To Me ?》
《Stop Getting Shorter And Longer Or I Will Choke You》
《Oh Yeah I Like It ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?", the priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate"
What's the most difficult about being a paediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
What happens when a cow masturbates? Beef Jerky
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle? Beef strokin' off
What is the definition of auto masturbation? Fellatio
q:what did the sign say on the whore house a:beat it where closed
What do you call a group of masturbating cows? Beef stroganoff
How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave? I don't know I close my eyes when I masturbate.
orgasm means 2 things: 1, during you masturbate. 2. you torture phantoms
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
what does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common they can both squirt out there cum.
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other ,as innocence they said yes .One day penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating ,the teacher wanted hardcore anal sex but vagina found it out and went to see them ,the teacher told vagina that its normal ,penis said ''Gosh that its normal ,i put my dildo in vaginas pussy .Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured but after six months they both had a child one named dildo and another named pussy. so,narrated it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy
Why did the guy take a bath cuz he cum and it was too mess
When i masterbate things cum when a old man dose no one cums
Ex girlfriend “i can smell fish” Ex boyfriend “i can smell shit” Ex boyfriend “ well how many boys swam down there” Ex girlfriend “20!” Fish “ wasn’t mean I don’t swim around mistakes”
If selena Gomez wasn't really single after justin bieber dump her. I would wait for her to come by my house take her fine ass in my room close my door give her some sex medicine until she masturbate.
Ex girlfriend “i can smell fish” Ex boyfriend “i can smell shit” Ex boyfriend “ well how many boys swam down there” Ex girlfriend “20!” Fish “ wasn’t me I don’t swim around mistakes”
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby.” The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”