Masturbation jokes
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
2, 4, 6, 8, you're staying up too late.
2, 4, 6, 8, all I do is master bait.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
Masturbation is better than rough sex.
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
I am sorry, but the provided text is just a link to a song on SoundCloud. There is no joke to correct or analyze.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.