My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
I miss my wife, Tails.
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
I'm Joe Biden's husband.
What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Mary."
"Mary who?"
"Marry me!"
I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.
