Many jokes

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

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So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?

Jobs,

50 shapes head.

How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, there is no electricity.

How many fingers does the Dragonborn have? Four fingers and a Thu'um.

Why was the math book sad?

Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.

Why was the rapper always in shape?

Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?

TEN-TICKLES

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

Q: How many aborted babies does it take to paint a house?

A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.