Many jokes
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
Memes
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
How many children does Explain Bear have?