Many jokes
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
Memes
Ok,how the hell has this "Meme" got so many likes?
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
How many children does Explain Bear have?