Many jokes

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

How many people fit in a tree?

I don't know, you tell me.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?

'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.

How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, she was electrocuted.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?

All 3 of them.

Hockey for life!

What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?

The cheetah became spotless!

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.

Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?

It depends on how thin you slice them.

How many emos does it take to fix a light?

I don't know because they never came down.

I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."