Many jokes

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?

The cheetah became spotless!

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?

It depends on how thin you slice them.

How many victims does Shaw have?

We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

How many people fit in a tree?

I don't know, you tell me.

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?

'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.

Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.