How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hire the Mexicans.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
So many bots commenting so fúcking fix it!
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
