Man jokes
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"
The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."
The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."
So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"
The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."
The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.
"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
How do you fit 3 gay men on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
I'm a lady, so I'm a man.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!