A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
Man Jokes
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
