Man jokes
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.
Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?
Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!