Man jokes
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”