Man jokes
Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"
Jeremy likes to kiss men. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
Why do men say funny things? Just to be silly!
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.